The human's condition/emotion is always changing. When we're in the masjid, or read the Quran, go umrah, we have a different states then when we don't. Work, wife/kids, etc, all make us in different conditions. It's like the British weather. But, whatever our conditions, we should never be neglectful of out Lord. The point when this is critical is at the point of death, but this could happen at any time. Isn't this something to worry about?
Look at the sahaabah. Despite being given the glad tidings of Jannah, they were full of worry. Hadhrat Abu Bakr siddiq (ra), who'll be the first to enter Jannah after the prophets, for whom all gates of Jannah will call out, wished they were a blade of grass. Their single deed of being in the cave with Rasoolullah (saws) was more than the Deeds of Hadhrat Umr (ra), even though the latter's deeds were more than the stars in the sky.
Why dont we have fikr? Even when someone dies, it doesn't affect us. We chat dunya at the janazah. Only humans are allowed to reach the spiritual heights, or the depths of sin. This is a test. Wife argument, other problems and distresses etc. But you must control yourself so you're always in the right condition, so that you'll be in this condition at death and go to Jannah.
It is our HEART that causes these fluctuations - happiness, sadness etc. How do we control it? Do Dhikr of the heart CONSISTENTLY. Then in all cases, work, family etc, your condition will be the same. Rasoolullah (saws) was always immersed in Dhikrullah, wherever they were. Do fikr.
Your objective for dhikr shouldn't be enjoyment, to see or feel things, for peace/light, but that you go from this life in ease. And, as with any ibaadat, reward only comes with the correct intention. The one with correct intention and fikr will realise that he'll have no Deeds at death, lots of sins, and that only this Dhikr will get him out of his predicament. Those that don't won't get benefit and are wasting their time- for example the munaafiqs at the time of Rasoolullah (saws) did salaah, but the intention was wrong, so they'll go to hell. What is our goal - to follow Allah and His Rasool. But people's intention is to become a shaikh, for 'spiritual' experiences and miracles - these are distractions from shaitaan. They say they're Naqshbandi etc, despite having no shariah in their lives. Hollow boxes destined for hell.
If you're on a train to London, you're not going to stop at the beautiful scenery on the way, because that's not your destination. And for the train if Dhikr, the destination is the following of Allah and His Rasool, not kashf/karamat.
So, Dhikr keeps your heart steady, which will stop you sinning, stop your desire for haram, wealth etc. Shariah come first. Rights of wife, kids, family etc. If you're not becoming like this, the intention behind your Dhikr is wrong. We shouldn't think we're pious, but worse than anyone. People stop Dhikr because of success in dunya, because they think they're pious from outward appearance - wrong intention. When hand does to sin, proper Dhikr PULLS IT BACK.
Method of Muhasibah, self-reflection. When you go to sleep, sit in bed, think of your shaikh, Dhikr Majlis you've been to, the about how sincere or deceitful you are, your defects, what you achieved from Dhikr, your actions and YOUR SINS. Full account, bare yourself to Allah. Then do istighfar 3 times, and inshallah your sins will be forgiven. Remember death. Present your balance sheet to Allah every day.
17th Feb, 2017